JONATHAN: The ‘jesus’ of Our Time.

A lot has been said about the comparison of President Jonathan to our Lord Jesus Christ, by the senior assistant to the President on media, Mr Doyin Okupe. While some people said Okupe was disrespectful to the Lord, others were less charitable, by suggesting that he should be charged for blasphemy. I, and many of my country men have wondered why Mr Okupe would compare an immortal being, like The Lord, to a mere mortal. And so, we saw no basis for the comparison. But Okupe, being the man that he is, insisted, with brazen grandiloquence, that the President is like “jesus,” and that he(the President) has some characteristics of the Lord. I have finally decided to agree with Okupe, after a thorough retrospective analysis of the President’s personality and the manner by which he has led Africa’s most populous nation. Here are the reasons why I agree with him.

The bible tells us that Jesus’ father was a carpenter, and we all know that carpentry is regarded as a low profession. Jonathan’s father, as you all know, was a fisherman, and being a fisherman in this part of the world is considered as failure, hence, it’s a low profession. We can now see that both Jonathan’s and Jesus’ fathers were men of low class, and as such, Jesus and Jonathan had a humble begining.

We are also aware that Jesus is a shepherd, and a shepherd takes care of sheeps -animals. Jonathan studied zoology, and so, he has a good knowledge about animals. In this mordern world, zoologists are the shepherds, hence, both Jesus and Jonathan are shepherds!

While on earth, Jesus forgave a lot of people of their sins. An example could be seen when a woman was caught in the very act of adultery. Of course we all know what Jesus said to her accusers, “he that is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone!” Being convicted by their conscience, the accusing mob left, leaving Jesus and the woman behind. Jonathan has a forgiving heart similar to that of the Lord. You remember Stella Oduah? How she was caught in the very act of financial misappropriation? What did Jonathan do? He simply pulled a ‘Jesus,’ and left us to our conscience. And Nigerians, all of us being sinners too, walked away, leaving Oduah and the ‘lord’ to do the rest. Jonathan also forgave Alams -a convicted thief(the President says it’s not corruption, but stealing). He recently rebuked Muhammadu “devil” Buhari, for jailing Jim Nwobodo, because the later stole $5.2 million. Jonathan queried, ” how much did Jim Nwobodo stole?” To him, $5.2M is nothing! How merciful are you, oh ‘lord!’

Jesus loved speaking to the people with parables. You remember the parable of the sower and the prodigal son? Yes, the Lord loved parables. The same can be said about Jonathan, with his parable of ‘the goat and the yam.’ During his latest Presidential media chat, he said “inorder to prevent the goat from eating the yam, you have to take away the yam!’ He explained that you can’t put the “goat” in the same house with the “yam,” and expect the goat not to eat the yam. I don’t know if he, and his ministers are the “goat(s)” and the national treasury is the “yam.” If you want an acurate meaning of the parable, you can pay him a visit at night, maybe you could earn yourself the title of ‘the new Nicodemus.’

We know that Jesus had an overzealous disciple -Peter, who went as far as cutting off somebody’s ear. In Jonathan’s case, I don’t know who is the most zealous among all his overzealous disciples. I don’t know if that disciple is Doyin Okupe, Fani-Kayode, Reno “Wendel Simlin” Omokri or Ayo Fayose. But I’m going to stick with Fayose, my reason? Simple, he has “Peter” as his middle name, and woe betide you, if you try to ‘insult’ the ‘lord’ when Peter is around!

Jesus did a lot of miracles while he was on earth. We’ve read of the turning of water into wine, the raising of Lazarus, and many other miracles. I don’t know if Jonathan turned water into wine, but I know that he perfomed a miracle when he told us of how he’s fighting corruption with “technology.” Maybe, it’s  an app, which we all have to download into our smarts phones, inorder to help us detect corrupt people. I don’t know what you think, for me, it’s a miracle. Whichever way, miracle na miracle.

Finally, when Jesus was nailed to the cross, the people wrote an inscription on the upper part of His cross, which read ‘Jesus Christ of Nazareth, King of the Jews.’ Jonathan may not have been nailed to a cross, but he surely got his title as a king. Recently, our eminent Professor, Wole Soyinka, refered to Jonathan as “King Nebuchadnezzar.” Wether you like it or not, Jonathan is a king, just like Jesus!

You may not believe that Jonathan is “jesus,” but he is! After all, many Jews didn’t believe Jesus and they perished! I’m not ready to make the same mistake they did, moreover, it doesn’t cost me anything to believe that he’s the ‘messiah.’ In the end, we have a ‘jesus’ in our generation, and you are on your own, if you don’t believe!


About chidi arua

I'm just the guy with love for writing.
This entry was posted in Expressive. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to JONATHAN: The ‘jesus’ of Our Time.

  1. Ese says:

    This is really funny. I mean the comparisons are so apt.
    Though Jonathan nor nobody is and can be Jesus…

    Liked by 1 person

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